Thoughts…

Thoughts…

Oh, wow…

It’s been a while.

Well, welcome back and thank you for reading.

A lot has happened this year. It’s been so busy.

I had an art show for the first time in years! (November in LA)

It went very well!

I met some new artists and got inspired to do more.

I did a live painting while I was at the show too!

My first show was in college. It was a lot of work crunched into just before installation and it was pressure unlike anything I had ever experienced.

The second art show was 2 days and it was about half and half.

First day was great, but the 2nd day I panicked!!

My support team couldn’t make it on day 2 and I was there alone, to talk about my deepest, darkest moments displayed figuratively on a wall.

I packed up and left about an hour early. (10 pm) and drove home.

I was mortified!

This inspired me to refine my sales skills.

The ability to engage with people and face my biggest fears. (People)

(Once upon a time I was a true/ real agoraphobe) (Not lying) ( I couldn’t leave the house for 6 months, almost lost my apartment with an eviction and had full blown panic attacks in grocery store parking lots.. it was horrid)

I always had retail and sales job throughout my entire college life (which was FOREVER) but I hadn’t learned negotiation or how to build real business relationships.

In a nutshell, eventually I did.

And decided to have another go at it and SUCCESS!

Not only was I able to discuss my art with multiple people, I had business cards with my art on them, a website, merch, stickers, and a live painting!

AND I MET MORE ARTISTS!!

Even a few I had been following on Instagram for the last few years!

It was so exciting!

I wanted to briefly blog about the show for the good and the embarrassing moments I’ve had doing these shows. 

And to prove that no matter how scared you are, just do it anyway.

Find out what is wrong, why it scares you, fix it and go again!

Fear will only hinder you from becoming your best true self.

Being an artist is my fun.

And if you can show case it and show people your world within your mind, it feels even better.

I bounce between being colorful and being wrapped in darkness, just like in life.

My life has NEVER been fucking easy.

And as I get older, wiser, and more experienced, it gets even harder at times. 

I’m still hoping for the day when it gets easier and more vibrant. It’s definitely better… 

But perhaps my color stays inside me, and I can only stay muted on the outside.

People, in other aspects of my life, would probably say otherwise! Lol 

I’m an extroverted introvert.

CONSTANTLY misunderstood!

(Assumptions kill me)

One day, I’ll share my full story.

For now, I’d rather speak in images.

Emotions are difficult for me to communicate. At least truthfully; verbally.

Written words and images are my emotional language.

I’m typically “fine” until I’m not.

Duh.. isn’t everyone? Lol!

What I mean is, when I’m bothered, I deal with it internally, process emotions privately, and then analyze the situation practically, and discuss if necessary.

It’s a whole process. (Even for the good things)

I’m not an attention whore, so I don’t need the validation. I just need peace.

I guess this is sort of me venting.. I’m obviously speaking without speaking here.

Life has gotten tough these last few months.

I’m always grateful for my life and the people in it.

But there are some things, beyond our control, that we would like to change but can only change what we do, what we say, how we do them, and how we say them.

If we’ve done our best to solve a problem and the problem persists… Then, well…. Let it go.

Detach.

Move on.

Life is too short for misery.

And lately, it seems like the impact of others misery has taken me to a point where I am beyond misunderstood, even attacked for others’ misunderstandings and now having to make pretty big decisions to deal with these situations.

Again, out of my control, but I CAN control what I do and how I move on.

I know life will reward me for my hard work one day.

It’s the only thing that keeps me going. Keeps me from sleeping in too often. Keeps me from fading away.

I’m too curious. Too curious to know how I’ll be at 50, where I’ll live at 80 and how my kids will look. (If I ever get to have them)

I’m not afraid to get old.

I tell people I’m older (than I am) on every birthday.

When people assume you’re younger, it’s insulting. They treat you like you’re an idiot. Like you are clueless, dumb, and then pull out the “emotional intelligence” ordeal when you try to defend yourself, or COMMUNICATE your perspective. 

But all in all… I am me. Black hair or blonde hair, highlights or greys.. I am Lund3on, like the city. Take it or leave it. Either way, I’ll be okay.

The only thing permanent in life is death. And I’m okay with that.

Hey, I’ve dodged that a few times too.

Forever Grateful.

For my support team, the amazingly brilliant man in my life, the amazingly patient & supportive friends that have stayed in my life, the people who birthed and raised me, my mentors and gurus, and the few who have supported and believed in me along the way. 

‘Til Next Time.

If you read this whole thing.. I appreciate you for taking the time, for your interest and your support!

Please let me know by leaving me a comment on Instagram saying “Pickle Treat”

Stay Tuned.

-Lund3on, Like the City.

P.S. The Amazing Man and I at Sumo & Sushi in Santa Monica, CA.